I have been watching Critical Role | The Mighty Nein, and because I can do no more than speculate this will be largely spoiler-free for anything after Episode 30, which I just watched. I am, at the slowest of paces, catching up to this decade long labour of love. I feel both out of the loop and in it, so I am quite glad, in some respects, that Campaign 4 is going to be all new. I can watch live, for the first time since I started watching Critical Role… 4-5yrs ago. Like, I said, slowest of paces.
The spoilers begin now, though, as we will discuss Episode 26: “Found & Lost”.
Editing Ash here: This was written on 26/09/2025. I can’t even begin to describe how out of date this might be but it was basically done and just not edited and published, so now it’s out.
A Confession
Let me begin with a confession that I am sure I will be made to eat. I don’t know enough about Mollymauk, Lucien and whatever is coming. No more than can be guessed from merch items and fan content.
From which, I have gathered this story is far from done. It does not end with his death. I have also gathered, that Molly is quite loved. In fact I would argue I have seen more for Molly than I have for Caduceus and I can only assume Cad is gonna be here longer. I have not experienced Cad for very long, but I love him.
Mollymauk, though, never grew on me. I have watched his 26 Episode opening run twice now and he still never grew on me. He’s fine, he’s okay, but if I had to do without a member of the Mighty Nein it would be him. So, how interesting that events led us here.
What is to come? I cannot know, but with this cast, I’m fairly certain this opinion will not hold true by the time I finish Campaign 2. It hardly holds true as I write this.
The Loss
When I first watched Campaign 2 I had Molly’s death spoiled in the comment section of an animatic. I don’t know which animatic it was, but I know I was trying very hard to only watch animatics from, episodes I had watched. The top comment that Youtube displayed to me without me even looking into the comment section was something along the lines of quite simply “I wish we saw more of Molly.” (Full truth, this was years ago, the words escape me) My conclusion was fairly obvious.
I was upset. At knowing. At knowing.
Then he dies. He dies and it hurts, because death, even when you know it’s coming, hurts. As we have extensively discussed. Knowing does not make it hurt any less. So, I cried, cried because they were crying, cried because he was dying. Cried.
And I watched that episode again this week and I cried all the same. Cried because how can you not.
Molly was not my favourite, but he was still one of them. He mattered, as fictional characters do, as D&D characters do.
As this game goes I am sure there will be many deaths in my future, even more that will stick, and we will discuss those in time, but as I crawl towards my finish line, this is the one that matters right now.
Grief is What Comes After
They grieve Molly. Like he lived and breathed with them, and he did, in a way.
They grieve him immediately, then they avenge him (and save their friends) and they grieve some more. They grieve him over and over again. What more can you do?
The next few episodes, and I’m sure a few more to come, are saying goodbye. Together, one more time after another. Everyone getting their chance and moment. This is grief. By the end of Episode 30 you have said goodbye to Molly at least 5 times, if not more I’m forgetting. We keep saying goodbye. Every new person who needed to be told is another goodbye that needed to be had. The retrodden ground and revisited inns and repeated experiences are more goodbyes. These walls are familiar, but they miss the purple tiefling.
For a moment, when you’re grieving, life is a minefield.
Everything can trigger something and nothing and everything. When you think you’re done, something reminds you. Every thing you do is another goodbye you thought you’d had. None of them are ever enough. The hole doesn’t go away, it just gets smaller. So you can carry on, but not forget. So the goodbyes don’t bring you to tears in the street anymore. So a drink is just a drink. But grief is never having said enough.
In some ways that is why we’re here. I was watching them repeat this solemn conversation, his life weighing heavy on them every time and all I could think was that: Grief is never having said enough goodbyes. Simple, really. I had to put it to page.
We all feel it, one way another, some day. I remember that feeling, and seeing it on the faces of my family members. When tears would spring from eyes when you least expected it. When you thought you were fine. I remember the weight of a loss you cannot quantify, you just know it is far larger than you realise. A loss you will remember in the mundane. In fries and gardens. In bags of sage. There is nothing so mundane as grief.
To Close
This is short, sure, but it’s up and out and something. Always something. I know I just needed to get something out, whatever it was. I know I just needed to get this on the page, whatever it was.
So, here.
Thanks. Follow the links, and I’ll see you when I see you.
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