We have been a bit unfocused this last fortnight. I have been busy with work, my free time has been less than usual and my attention has been all over the place. So, we have, in short, watched a variety of things. Most of which have, in fact, been mentioned here before actually, and because I was just so all over the place I may wave the usual Introductions for the short, passing moments these past two weeks.
First, though, NCIS.
SPOILERS!
NCIS: Where Am I?
Somewhere in Season 10. Specifically I am due to watch Episode 1011: “Shabbat Shalom”. See here for previous posts.
I have a feeling the next episode is the tumultuous death of Eli David, and as such I have not watched it yet. Needless to say, alongside that, and while I am sure there is at least somewhat of a Ziva focus in those episodes, I am not eager to have to watch her leave come the end of the season.
Ziva remains one of my favourites, and increasingly so as I have been watching the series. I like Ellie, don’t get me wrong… but I will ever so miss Ziva when her time comes to an end. So, I am putting it off.
I know she appears again in Season 17, and upon finishing Season 10 I will very much be powering through all six seasons as quick as I can to reach her short appearance. Nevertheless she’s a main character right now, and she is amazing.
Though! Did we all see The Announcement? I have some watching to do because I fully intend to be fully caught up on NCIS by the time NCIS: Tony & Ziva comes out. Considering how much there is to catch upon I expect myself to drift away to other pieces of media a few times before I do. Will I watch other spin-offs as well? Probably not, really, but the original series I will so be caught upon. I don’t expect NCIS: Tony & Ziva to come out any time soon, they haven’t even shot anything yet. We are looking at a year and probably more, maybe two… but that doesn’t mean I’m not excited.
Romcom’s, huh?
Little known fact about me, that I don’t generally admit, is that when my brain has limited bandwidth I find refuge in romcom’s. My basis for which ones I watch is usually something along the lines of “Hey, I like that one actor.”
So, when work started to get just a little bit overwhelming this past week, and I was nearing burnout far quicker than I had the time for I turned to something easier to digest than the traumatic drama of NCIS, and instead settled down to a couple of movies. Several, in fact, more than I’ve watched maybe all year.
Regardless, we did, in fact, start with Twilight, after their drop on Disney+ meant there was trailers on my Insta feed, but we’ll come back to that later because there’s more vampires a coming.
Next we went to Prime Video for one of their latest drops The Idea of You, because I’ve seen Nicholas Galitzine in one too many romcom’s (Prime’s musical Cinderella is almost unfortunately a bit of a guilty pleasure), and, lets face it, Anne Hathaway is objectively a stunning woman and incredibly talented. I started this movie with a general attitude of “Hey, why not?”, and it was… essentially what I expected. It’s very calming, peaceful and did bring a slight tear to my eye, if I remember correctly. Did not feel like a waste of time, but romcom’s are more of a ‘when I have space for nothing else’ type of thing than they are anything I fall in love with, so, I’m not full of strong opinions.
Aside from that, we did then watch One True Loves, in which Shang-Chi is in love with Eliza Hamilton who is the sister of Angela Montenegro. Or, alternatively, I 100% watched this because of the faces in it and nothing else. The story was okay, it was very sweet and I like how it ended. The people in it were, of course, fantastic.
So, Why Twilight?
I don’t think anyone’s denying that there are definitely better movies to watch then Twilight. Hell, there are better vampire movies alone to watch than Twilight. I know that, but we’re all allowed our guilty pleasures and Twilight may be one of mine.
When I first watched Twilight a few years ago it was morbid curiosity. It’s one of those things that it feels like everyone is always talking about, and at the very least everyone knows what it is. So, of course, I knew what it was and I had not yet seen it. So, I sat down with my Sims game and figured it would make great background noise, because I never multitask when watching something I actually care about which means if we’re playing Sims we’ve got to get a movie or a sitcom playing. A five movie franchise was sure to get me hours of playtime without having to think about what to put on next, and you know what? I was right, it did make great background noise. So great, in fact, I have used Twilight as background noise multiple times over the last few years.
I have watched it in earnest as well since and, in fact, this past weekend I watched The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 & The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 with my full attention. I watched the first Twilight film a few months ago with a friend who hadn’t seen it yet (and so, obviously, had to watch it), and the middle two I generally, admittedly, don’t care about. The third one I’ve always found to feel like it’s just wrapping up all the open arcs before they get married, which is a completely fair narrative choice to make. It’s good to have no loose ends when you decide to speed run life in one long book/two movies. As for the second, as fun as Bella’s run in Italy is, and as good as Michael Sheen is, I don’t particularly care for watching Edward be just that dramatic, though, I understand love is lot and love can hurt when you’re like a century old.
Speaking of Michael Sheen, I almost always forget he is in these movies and he, of course, steals the show in every scene he’s in. I almost wanted to watch Good Omens after this just for the Sheen whiplash. His presence in this feels like a Betty White cameo. Actually, of the reasons to watch this franchise, the cast alone may be worth it. Like, for all the kickstarting of careers this franchise probably did, there is some absolute gold hidden away in here.
Say what you will about Bella’s mannerisms, but Kristen Stewart is fantastic, I will watch her play just about anything with the queerest of undertones. Isn’t she in another vampire movie now? As straight as it may disappointingly be.
Robert Pattinson has obviously gone on to bigger and better with his The Batman debut.
Of the places I personally know some of the other cast from we have Jackson Rathbone and the icon of a serial killer he is in Criminal Minds, Elisabeth Reaser in The Haunting of Hill House and lest we forget Grey’s Anatomy, Peter Facinelli in Season 1 of Supergirl.
Then, of course, we have Taylor Lautner, who I personally know from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, but I’m sure he’s in other things too.
Billy Burke, who makes an early reoccurring appearance in Rizzoli & Isles, which means I watched that and had a reaction somewhat akin to “Oh my god, it’s Charlie Swan.” Side note, but Charlie really goes through it in these movies. Underrated and persistently neglected. Bella really just makes him put up with everything and the man just takes it. “Yes, dad, I’m different and I can’t tell you why or how.” “Yes, dad, I’ve adopted… his niece… while I was dying and sick, don’t worry about it too much.” This man is gold, and not stupid! He took one look at that CGI demon and said:
“She’s got your eyes, Bella.”
Charlie Swan – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
My man figured it out in 30 seconds and just shrugged.
We also have Anna Kendrick, who I adore and will watch in literally anything no least of which Pitch Perfect, but a myriad of other things as well. Her presence in Breaking Dawn particularly is, erm, small, but she’s there!
Then, I always forget he’s here too, but Booboo Stewart, who went on to my childhood love of Descendants. Speaking of, I know there’s a new one coming out and I will be so mad if they mess it up.
As I was looking up cast spellings and I can’t believe I didn’t notice this, Sheen’s entourage includes Jamie Campbell Bower, who has, of course, infamously been in Stranger Things and other things but, ya know, Stranger Things!
All this aside, Breaking Dawn – Part 1, is a truly wild ride that cannot be put into words. The mood just keeps changing, we’re married, we’re honeymooning, we’re injured and in love, and now we’re dying. There’s a lot going on. When I say they really wanted to ‘speed run life’ this is what I mean. There are three movies of teenage romcom, dancing around the big life questions and no one’s motives really change. Then in Breaking Dawn – Part 1 she gets married and has a baby in just under two hours. I know technically she’s just woken up dead at the end of it, but I feel like it’s worth repeating that she did all that and she is eighteen. They meandered all the way to graduation, and then they did everything as quick as possible, as improbable as they thought some of it was.
Breaking Dawn – Part 2, however, is the best movie in the whole franchise. I won’t be taking opinions on this. That fight scene is brilliant. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D has some damn good fight scenes and this one almost compares! The fight may be the only reason I watched any of Breaking Dawn and it was worth it. We’re all weirded out by Bella’s baby names, and Jacob’s imprinting, but at the end of that we get Vampire!Bella, who is marginally cooler than Human!Bella, and one of the coolest fight scenes I have had the pleasure of watching. In fact, I never watch the fight half-arsed. It deserves attention. Some of the stuff that happens before that not so much, but nothings perfect.
Take aways, though?
Twilight obviously romanticises the concept of being a vampire. There’s a reason they’re sparkly and not burning up in the sun. I know Bella seemed to be dying to become one, but once we see the world from her vampiric perspective it seems to imply that her life just got so much better now she drinks blood. That cinematography is screaming ‘Isn’t this AWESOME!?’… and as a person who will watch things just because there’s vampires in it… I suppose?
Secondly… look, it’s vulgar, but apparently they’re all just so horny. I’m fairly certain that’s true in most of the franchise, I vaguely recall like one of Bella’s two goals being ‘bed Edward’, the second was, of course, ‘become vampire’. She is clearly a person with excellent priorities. Regardless, as the asexual being that I am… lets just say I muted it and looked away a few times.
Anyways! Having watched Twilight my Instagram feed apparently heard it and was immediately flooded with various, hilarious, Twilight memes. All of which led to several discussions with friends that eventually reminded me of, and brought me back to, one of my favourite sapphic couples on the internet. In that vain:
Carmilla
They’re adorable, and you’ve met them before. See here.
They will, of course, continue to come up on the blog with ever developing love. I adore them. They are genuinely some of my favourites to watch ever. For a low budget it is a truly magnificent production, that makes me tear up almost every time I watch, both happily with laughter and also occasionally because it can be heartbreaking. I forget how genuinely funny this little web series that could is. The jokes do not fall flat here, and maybe sometimes you’re laughing at the characters because in retrospect almost everything that happens in Season 1 is hilarious. It’s just so good. I will never get bored of it. It feels timeless.
Yet, if my maths is right, in August of this year that first episode turns ten years old.
Pardon my language, but holy shit. I have been watching this series repeatedly for years. Not all ten, I know, but I think I found it about the same time I came out… and, damn, if it doesn’t feel like it’s been with me my whole gay life. Carmilla may have been one of my first lesbian crushes, like this is where we are at. I love them, I adore them, they are partially, probably, one of the reasons I am where I am today. With this blog, doing what I’m doing. All appreciation which will be given over and over again, I’m sure.
So, Where Am I?
At the time of writing, I have only been watching Carmilla for a few days in between doing massive amounts of work. I have watched it slower than I have maybe watched it ever. Especially considering a full season is essentially the length of a feature film. Regardless, I am right at the start of Season 2 about to watch Episode 202: “The Voice of Silas”, and by the time this is published I will have probably watched half the season. If you’re familiar with the series you know how fast it can go if you just sit there and watch.
If you ask my friends, they will tell you I have a lot to say… and I do… but because finishing things can offer a different perspective to things you’re already thinking, I’m going to finish the series (and movie) before I say too much. As experience tells me, as much as I know this series like the back of my hand, there is still nevertheless a line I could be forgetting that will change everything. So, I’m going to hold off.
One comment, though:
You can laugh at how blind Laura Hollis is, because, yes, Laura she is doing it for you. She even says as such, over and over again. What if it’s not about being blind, though, and instead about being scared?
The thing with rewatching something so often is that what you take away from a whole show, a line or a scene can change with each new viewing. It is one of the reasons that people who don’t rewatch things genuinely baffle me. That said, as I was watching this time, I realised something I hadn’t realised before.
As, yes, you can giggle and smirk at how blind Laura seems to be, but the thing is, and maybe I’m looking too deep into this, it’s not that she doesn’t see it. Hell, she even says it at the end of Season 1.
“She made the big gesture for me.”
Laura Hollis – Carmilla – Episode 136: “Life Goes On”
Eagle eyed viewers, however, will note that in the same scene, in between kissing the ‘she’ in question for the first time, Laura will also say:
“And I know that you didn’t do everything for me.”
Laura Hollis – Carmilla – Episode 136: “Life Goes On”
My interpretation now? Laura is not blind or wilfully ignorant, in fact, we have enough evidence through her journalism to know that she is quite an intelligent person. Laura is, however, terrified.
Think about it. You’re 19 years old, you’ve known this person for maybe a few months, and she dove into an all consuming light to save you, and only you.
There is no mistaking that Carmilla did this for Laura. For the majority of Season 1 Carmilla would rather claw her own eyes out than have to go up against her mother. Even before her mother made that deal with her, Carmilla wasn’t exactly jumping to the charge. She offered only to get a sword, she didn’t offer to use it. Carmilla has two priorities and they are her own safety and Laura’s safety and that’s about it. Getting a sword costs her nothing, and maybe even scores her some points with the person she wants to kiss. Using it, on the other hand, could cost her everything. It nearly did. Laura forced her hand, not intentionally, but she did. Carmilla would not have gone if Laura was not in danger, I don’t think there’s any debate about that. So, yes, Carmilla saved everyone for Laura, or as I often interpret it, Carmilla saved Laura and everyone else was just a byproduct of that.
So, I posit denial. Carmilla nearly died for Laura, that is, as Laura says, a big grand gesture. Reconciling yourself with the fact that a person is willing to die for you, that a person loves you so much they would dive into a light demon in a crater in the ground with no plan of escape, that a person would face everything they have been shown to fear, risk all that for you, and you alone, because they love you… that’s got to be, at the very least, intimidating.
Laura is 19, and as I’ve probably said before, Carmilla is likely one of her first if not the first girlfriend she’s ever had. Lest we forget her incredibly sheltered childhood. Carmilla has fallen hard, there’s no doubt about that. If her chosen attitude was not brooding and pessimism I would say she wears her feelings on her sleeve. We see the moment she starts to fall, and the minute she punches Will to protect Laura she has chosen the sword she will die on, because she doesn’t want to see someone she loves die again, and my god, does she love Laura with everything already. She has a different perspective on love, yes, she’s got centuries and Laura is a fresh faced barely adult. The playing field is unmatched, and hostage taking aside, the fact that Carmilla falls harder for the first person to find out who she truly is and not run in the opposite direction is understandable.
Laura tells us when she starts to fall, with her:
“Worst crush ever!”
Laura Hollis – Carmilla – Episode 128: “Blame Enough For All”
Which Carmilla definitely heard, by the way. She was only in the bathroom.
So, yes, off track a bit there, but it’s established Carmilla saved those girls for Laura. If I was Laura, I think I’d be afraid to admit that too. That someone could risk everything for just me? That is terrifying. To be loved that much? At 19? Sure, that’s what happens in the movies and TV Shows with world ending horrors, but you know what? That doesn’t make it any less terrifying.
Out of context, assuming someone saved the world for only you… could be considered selfish, and Laura has proven very clearly that selfish is the last thing she is.
So, yes, maybe I thought she was blind, and I probably will still giggle at her inevitable multitude of denials, but the interpretation that it’s not all that. She does know, deep down inside or in the back of her mind a little voice, probably Carmilla’s, tells her that it was all for her, but she is just terrified to admit it. That’s my new favourite interpretation, and hey, next rewatch it very well might change, as that is how these things tend to go. Right now, though, Laura, I get it. Being loved that much, at that age, is terrifying. At the very least, she’s selfless, we know this, so it can’t all be for her, right?
I’ve not finished Season 2 this time around, yet, but if I recall, I think she’ll understand and maybe even admit it, by the end of it.
To Conclude
I’m going to safely say that this is probably longer than I thought it would be, so I would like to thank you very much for sticking to the end. I hope, as always, that you enjoyed it. I, at least, had a little fun writing this one up.
It’s a safe bet that most of the things here, stand alone romcom’s aside, are going to be revisited.
This week has been a bit chaotic with my viewing habits, but perhaps in two weeks time it will not be! You never know.
Regardless, thank you again. I shall see you in a fortnight.
You can follow me on Instagram at: @thebomff or on Threads at: @thebomff
On to the next!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the images, narratives or characters present or referenced in this post. All rights belong to CBS, Amazon MGM studios, Kinda TV and all other relevant parties.